Our politicians are supposed to be those esteemed individuals we entrust with the keys to the kingdom, hoping they’ve got a bit more upstairs than the rest of us. Ideally, they’re the crème de la crème, educated at the finest institutions, exuding confidence as they steer the ship of state. And for the most part, especially here in the UK, that’s been the case. A whopping 31 British Prime Ministers have strutted their stuff at Oxford University, with 13 of them hailing from Christ Church College.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’ve had my fair share of disagreements with their policies. But deep down, I acknowledge they’re probably better suited to running the country than I am. I mean, I can barely manage to keep my houseplants alive, let alone a nation. (I know, I know, they’re all bloody awful. But seriously, let’s not put me in charge of anything.)
And then, across the pond, we have Donald Trump. And I can’t help but think, “Really? This guy?” Maybe I’m delusional, but I genuinely believe most of us could outsmart him in a game of Trivial Pursuit. Even the kids’ version. You just know the average ten year old would have more cheeses than Donald.
Donald Trump often boasts about his education at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, but questions linger about how he got in and what he actually learnt there. He even went so far as to threaten legal action against any institution that dared to release his grades or SAT scores. Hardly fills a person with confidence, does it?
And then there’s the spray tan situation. I get it; a bit of colour can make you feel better. I indulge in a weekly spray tan myself—no shame. But with Trump, I suspect he only gets his face done. From the neck down, he must just be a pasty white pudgefest. So, his face radiates a tangerine glow, topped with that…unique hairstyle. Imagine him naked. No, actually, don’t. It’s too distressing.
What’s baffling is how he maintains this look. Reports suggest he might be doing it himself, given the frequent mishaps. Makeup artists have speculated that no professional would willingly let a client walk out with such obvious tan lines and mismatched shades.
In contrast, our British leaders, regardless of their political leanings, tend to present themselves with a bit more…let’s say, decorum. Sure, they’ve had their gaffes, but at least they don’t resemble a satsuma with a comb–over.
So, I might grumble about policies and decisions from Westminster, but I take solace in knowing that our leaders have a certain level of education and, dare I say, taste. Because if the alternative is a Poundland Oompa Loompa that I could beat at a board game, I’ll stick with what we’ve got, thank you very much.
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