Nostalgia
This week, I’m feeling irked by the Law of Attraction’s Instagram account which shared a post that read, “stop saying yes to shit you hate.” First of all, yes I do follow the Law of Attraction. I went through a phase a few years back of feeling utterly lost and got into The Secret and all of that stuff—stop judging me! As a part of that, I just followed stuff that helped me, so yes…, cheesy inspirational quotes, older women who are doing well for themselves in a variety of ways (Elizabeth Hurley features heavily), cat videos, dog videos, inspirational speakers… to be honest it’s probably a lot healthier than my actual Instagram account—or a lot more delusional—and maybe a truer reflection of me. Actually, it’s very Lucinda from MAFS. Anyway. That quote. If I stop doing shit I hate, I won’t be able to pay the mortgage. The day job. Oh god, the day job. Something about that needs to change, yes, but it’s not that easy, is it, inspirational quote from the Law of Attraction? I do need to sort it though. So arguably it has given me a nudge.
Over recent months I have started to look back incredibly fondly at things to do with the 70s and 80s: TV programmes, TV commercials, films from that period, clothes from that period… even being at school (and I hated primary school so I know my rose–tinted glasses are doing A LOT of heavy lifting here). Do we become overly nostalgic as we age? Am I a walking stereotype? Certainly, I hear myself thinking “Youth is wasted on the young!” and “Ooh! if I could have my time again!” like a right old biddy… so I suppose the answer is yes. I am a cliché but I am feeling this intense longing for the past. A Facebook account dedicated to that time in history showed me an old TV Times front cover from the early 80s the other day, and I felt myself fill up! Ridiculous! Is it about missing a more innocent era, maybe? (And yes, I can hear myself. We all know about how “innocent” some of the famous faces from that time turned out to be). But certainly I was more innocent, as we are, as kids, and that makes all the difference.
As an aside, maybe a part of this hankering for times gone by is that my mum had a stroke last week. (Just a mini stroke which is very on brand for my mum’s whole, “I don’t want to be any bother” shtick). I’m incredibly privileged at the age of 52 to still have both of my parents. Not for one second do I take that for granted but the thought of losing either of them, even at my age, feels unfathomable.
A few years ago, when I was a teacher, one of my year 11s bought me a DVD of the old Wonder Woman TV shows. (I used to love teaching, back in the day). I always made it clear how much I loved Wonder Woman, The Bionic Woman, and Charlies Angels, so when they left school, they gave me that. Just so bloody lovely. I sat down to watch it and immediately realised just how much slower everything was back then. No way would kids sit through that now! And I think that’s another huge difference between life now and a few decades ago. Notifications and deadlines mean that we’re all constantly looking to “do the next thing” or meet that target before the next email comes in or whatever it might be. Back then you looked at one screen at a time. Everything was slower. There was more time.
I used to watch these shows in the back room of my grandparents’ pub. It always felt so cosy. I could hear everyone laughing, drinking and smoking in the bar, but my brother and I would be tucked away in the back enjoying our bottles of coke, and bags of salt ’n’ shake crisps. I never thought I’d say it but I even miss the smell of cigarette smoke. I’ve never smoked but it’s a smell that takes me back now. Much nicer than vapes and their sickly sweet smell and weird gurgling noise. I know, I know, smoking is bad. Of course it is. But I do get a lovey Proustian rush whenever I get a whiff.
I talk about all of this and more in my podcast, Avoid Excessive Cleavage which you can find here.