A good friend of mine recently passed on some advice that her driving instructor had given her. “If you get into the water, you’re going to make some ripples. You can’t not.” She and I both struggle with the idea of being in the way—in this case when it comes to driving. For example, whenever I speed, it’s because I’m being tailgated. Getting on someone’s nerves, in my head, is far worse than a fine, points on my licence, and a hike in my insurance. Ridiculous.
I go through phases of being brave enough to make silly little comedy videos and putting them on social media. They don’t gain much traction at all but that’s okay—they’re more for me to practise ideas, and the pride I feel just from having the balls to put it out there is reward enough (I know how cheesy that sounds but it’s honest).
I’ve not put anything “out there” for a long time… The Fear has somehow felt too great. I see other people doing it and feel they have more of a right to do it than I do: they’re funnier/better/cleverer/cooler… you name it.
Something I’ll never understand is unkind comments on social media—that’s what really stops me. And it’s so silly. Actually, it’s not the comments themselves, it’s the thought of other people reading those comments and sort of smirking to themselves, “Yeah, someone should tell her,” kind of thing. I’ve never posted anything unkind—I don’t understand why anyone would. Oh I’m not perfect, I’ll frequently think, “Oh FFS,” or “You’re so annoying,” or “Go Away!” But I just ignore and scroll on by. Not because I’m having to make a deliberate choice not to comment, just, why would I bother? I’d say it’s a generational thing, but plenty of people my age seem to take time out to be purposely unpleasant. I dunno.
So, I’m going to put my big girl pants on (I wear nothing but big pants these days, I should be super confident, really) and put some silly stuff out there.
How bad can it be…?