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Monthly Archives: February 2025

Gym: Feel the burn, Feel the hate, Do it anyway

Gym: Feel the burn, Feel the hate, Do it anyway

14 February 2025

ageing, confidence, gym, hate, love

My reluctant love/hate relationship with the gym

I’m currently sitting in the gym car park, procrastinating. And I’ve just experienced the worst possible outcome—I found a parking space. After weeks of driving in circles and going home, secretly pleased at the excuse of “Oh well, can’t park, can’t work out,” today the stars have aligned against me.

So here I am. In the car. Dreading what’s inside.

I hate the gym. I hate it with a passion that borders on unreasonable, but I drag myself here anyway because I feel like I have to. I wish I were one of those people who love their morning runs or find a sense of peace on a treadmill, but no. I’m not. Instead, I sit here in the car thinking about how everyone inside is probably fitter than me, stronger than me, more disciplined than me.

And yes, I know this isn’t true, but that doesn’t stop the inner monologue of self–criticism from doing its thing.

Lockdown really did a number on me. Before it hit, I was nearly thirty pounds lighter, and I wasn’t even happy with myself back then. Now, I’m heavier, older, and feeling like my body is betraying me. I’ve hit my early fifties—the time of life when metabolism slows down, and every piece of chocolate seems to stick around for a decade. Throw in some menopausal symptoms, and it feels like a perfect storm.

During lockdown, I didn’t channel my energy into running or home workouts like some people. Nope. I was too busy surviving on a diet of wine, chocolate, coffee, and takeaways—anything that made those horrible days a little more bearable. But now, I regret it. Why didn’t I become one of those people who emerged from lockdown fitter, leaner, and glowing with post–jog euphoria? I’m furious at myself for taking the opposite route.

And here’s the kicker: the weight I put on during lockdown didn’t magically disappear when life resumed. It stuck around, and I’ve been slowly piling more on ever since. I recently saw a photo of myself from five years ago, and it felt like a punch to the gut. Back then, I wasn’t satisfied with my appearance, but compared to now? I looked amazing. Youthful, vibrant, and much more confident.

How did I not see it at the time?

I know all of this sounds shallow, and part of me is embarrassed to admit how much it bothers me. But it’s my reality. We all have our weak spots, and for me, it’s how I feel about my body. I’ve become someone who avoids mirrors, who feels a wave of panic when a friend tags me in a photo online.

So, why am I here at the gym when I hate it so much? Because, despite all the self–loathing, I know I have to start somewhere. I know that exercise, even if it doesn’t transform me overnight, can at least help me feel better psychologically. I know that once I push through the initial dread and make this part of my routine again, it will be easier. I’ve done it before, and I can do it again.

That doesn’t mean I’m not procrastinating right now. Writing this blog post is, after all, a great excuse to stay in the car a little longer. But I will go in. I’ll battle through the self–consciousness, the worries about my wobbly thighs, and the overwhelming sense of not belonging.

I won’t lie—I signed up for the most expensive gym in town because I thought the luxurious facilities and shiny swimming pool would motivate me. Spoiler alert: they didn’t. Here we are, January 30th, and this is my first visit of the year. But today, there’s no excuse. I found a parking spot, so in I go.

I also know that my struggles with body image aren’t just about health—they’re about confidence. I’d like to meet someone, and the idea of being vulnerable in front of another person terrifies me. A friend told me yesterday that men don’t care, that they aren’t as judgmental as we think they are. But it doesn’t matter, does it? If I don’t like myself, how can I believe anyone else will?

But that’s the thing—I’m working on it. I’m here. I’m trying. And maybe that’s enough for now.

So, here I go. Me and my wobbly bits are about to face the gym. I don’t want to, but I will. I’ll think of Jane Fonda and her “feel the burn” mantra, even though, for me, it’s more like “feel the burn, feel the hate, and do it anyway.” Because sometimes, that’s the only way forward.

Listen to my Avoid Excessive Cleavage podcasts.

Find out where I’m going to be performing soon.

Find me on Faceboo k.

Pamela Anderson's no-makeup rebrand

Pamela Anderson’s no–makeup rebrand:

7 February 2025

ageing, Demi Moore, dolly parton, Pamela Anderson, women

A natural revolution or just good PR?

Pamela Anderson’s recent rebrand as the face of the “no makeup” movement offers a fascinating case study in the complexities of ageing, especially for women in the public eye. Known as one of the ultimate beauty icons of the 80s and 90s, Anderson’s shift from heavy makeup to a more “natural” look has been lauded by many as empowering and authentic. But let’s not gloss over the irony—or the clever marketing that might be at play.

Here’s Pamela Anderson, the woman who made red swimsuits and smoky eyeliner as iconic as the Hollywood sign. Now she’s making headlines for ditching the very tools that helped craft her image. It’s almost like McDonald’s launching a campaign for kale salads—it might be a health–conscious move, but it’s definitely still about staying relevant. Anderson’s no–makeup look suggests a rebellion against conventional beauty standards, yet it also keeps her in the spotlight, reminding us that even in going bare, she’s still a master of public image.

The shift raises a few (meticulously microbladed) eyebrows. Is this a feminist act of defiance, or is it just another smart PR move? Is Pamela really shedding the shackles of beauty standards, or is she subtly reinforcing them by using her bare face as a statement? After all, her natural beauty is still largely unattainable for many, even without makeup.

The idea of Pamela Anderson as the poster girl for minimalism is kind of delightful. It’s a bit like imagining the Statue of Liberty swapping her torch for a reusable shopping bag. The symbolism might change, but the cultural impact remains. And in Anderson’s case, the message she’s sending—intentionally or not—is that women are constantly judged for how they look, whether they’re dolled up or going au naturel.

We celebrate the George Clooneys for their “distinguished” silver hair while women like Anderson are scrutinised for every line and wrinkle. (Men age like wine, women age like milk, right?) Anderson’s no–makeup stance, while potentially liberating, might unintentionally highlight the same beauty biases it’s supposed to challenge. In a world where women’s worth often feels tied to their looks, even the absence of makeup can become another form of performance.

At the recent Golden Globes, Demi Moore, at 62, delivered a powerful acceptance speech after winning her first award for Best Female Actor in a Musical or Comedy for The Substance. Moore shared a poignant anecdote from her early career, recalling how she was dismissed as a “popcorn actress”—a term that undermined her contributions to iconic films like Ghost and Indecent Proposal. It’s a stark reminder of how the industry often diminishes women’s achievements.

Moore’s career also faced setbacks when she took a hiatus to raise her daughters, highlighting the double standard that allows men in Hollywood to enjoy uninterrupted careers while women are penalised for prioritising family. In her speech, Moore touched on the pervasive feeling of inadequacy imposed on women, recounting advice she once received: “Just know you will never be enough, but you can know the value of your worth if you just put down the measuring stick.”

It resonates. How many of us have felt like we’re never quite enough, no matter what we achieve?

Dolly Parton once said, “I don’t know what the big deal is about old age. Old people who shine from the inside look 10 to 20 years younger.” I adore her (doesn’t everyone?). She’s a beacon of self–acceptance, ageing with grace and humour while still owning every bit of her identity.

The experiences of women like Pamela Anderson, Demi Moore, and Dolly Parton highlight the ongoing challenges women face in industries that prioritise appearance and youth over talent and experience. Yet, their resilience and commitment to authenticity serve as powerful reminders that self–worth isn’t (or, at least, shouldn’t be) something society gets to dictate.

In a culture that frequently tells women they are not enough, these women exemplify the strength found in self–acceptance and the courage to define their own worth. Maybe if they can do it under the glaring lights of fame, maybe the rest of us can give it a go, too?

Listen to my Avoid Excessive Cleavage podcasts.

Find out where I’m going to be performing soon.

Find me on Faceboo k.

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